Some say that there are only two types of people in this world: those who are interested in anal play, and those who haven’t tried it yet. Whether this is true or not, people having fun back there is a simple question of anatomy. Our anal sphincters (muscle surrounding the rectum) are full of nerve endings, and to us (humans), it feels good when our nerves are messed with. But, a lot of people are doubtful when it comes to making that first step you never go back from. Do you need medical advice? Why does it sometimes feel painful? What should you start with?
In this article, we’ll answer your doubts and help you get there, one finger at a time. This guide is helpful for all boys, girls, and everyone in between. Remember: no matter if you’re trans or cis, a finger in the bum is never a miss!
Preparing for Anal Play
Anal training is important. We cannot emphasize this enough as it dictates your very first anal play experience. Generally, you should make your very first foray into anal on your own. This way, you won’t feel pressured by the presence of a partner, you can take as much time as you need, and you’ll slowly find out about your limits. The number one thing when you start having some backhand fun is to be relaxed. You have to be in the right frame of mind if you want it to be pleasurable. The reason for this is because the internal sphincter, as opposed to the external one, is not something we can consciously engage with, i.e., we can’t relax it on our own. To do it, you should play around your butt a little bit, jump from touching it gently to a bit harder pushes until you realize what’s working. Basically, make yourself horny.
To help you relax (and therefore, experience pleasure and not pain), there are some breathing techniques. You should take deep breaths which relax your body and put you in the right mood. But, most importantly, use lube, and lots of it. The thing is, when people get turned on and start having foreplay fun, a woman’s vagina can get so wet you can hear Whitney Houston singing from it. Butts don’t do that, so you have to replace that natural lubricant with one from the store, be it a water-based lube or a silicone-based lube. You can’t overdo with it, so make it as slippery as you can, as it will ease the pain and make everything more pleasurable.
Choosing the Right Dildo
As we’ve already mentioned, when picking your anal toys, it’s paramount to start slowly, one step at a time. Start off with a single finger, then add a couple more as you go along. Push your fingers inside and let them stay there until your butthole stretches into comfort. As always, use lube at all times (remember, using just plain water won’t do). When you feel you can move on from your fingers, your next step is anal beads. Anal beads are named like that because of the toy’s shape, and they provide the most fun when they’re slowly pulled out. Unlike butt plugs, which are meant to stay in, with anal beads, you push the toy in and have fun while taking them out.
Then, you can move on to butt plugs, and finally, dildos. Again, using a dildo is also something you should see as a progression. Sticking a huge anal dildo in your ass is a one-way ticket for a trip to the ER. Obviously, anal dildos are of the same shape as normal dildos, but they differ from a regular vaginal dildo (a silicone toy would be the best for your pleasure). Anal dildos have a flared base, meaning that they are wider at the base. So, they won’t get sucked in (potentially out of your reach), and you can attach it to your strap-on harness.
How to Insert a Dildo in Your Anus
Before you have anal sex with a dildo, make sure that all your anal sex toys are clean. After every session, you should clean it thoroughly with soap and water. Before using it again, you should at least wipe it with a damp cloth. Naturally, it’s a given that you should clean yourself as well. Use an enema or a douche beforehand, unless, you know, you’re into hard sports.
The first thing you have to do is apply the lube. We’ve said it already, but we can’t stress enough. When you think you’ve used enough, add some more. You should lube up both parties in this transaction, so cover your dildo in lube as well. Then, once you’re slippery and relaxed, start inserting it one inch at a time. This is very important, and the key to successfully penetrating your butt, be it with a penis or a silicone copy of it. Push it slowly in until you start feeling uncomfortable. Then, leave it in that spot, move it about a bit to get yourself comfortable and accustomed to the feeling. Don’t forget to take your time and don’t rush it. When you feel like you can move on, push in a bit further and repeat the above until it’s in all the way.
Essentially, you have to go this slow is because your rectum, unlike vaginas, was not designed to take things in; it’s there for flushing things out. The reason why we like it nonetheless is because of those nerve endings we’ve talked about earlier, and you shouldn’t deny yourself the pleasures of this world.
What to Do When It’s In
So, now that it’s inside, what next? Just leave it there and go to sleep? Not really, this is where the action starts! Pick a designated hand for your anal fun. You want to use that hand for this purpose only because you can get some of the faecal bacteria on your hand, and you don’t want to be putting those anywhere else. You can use the other hand to do whatever you want and touch whatever you can reach. Getting horny (being hard if you’re a guy, or even orgasming if you’re a girl) will get you relaxed and in the mood for this.
Once it’s fully in, leave it there. If it stays in place, your butt has relaxed thoroughly. However, if you feel your butt is pushing the toy out, keep it there with your hand until you relax entirely. From now on, it’s completely up to you. Some of us enjoy the mere fact that it’s in — the sensation of fullness is what gets us going. Alternatively, others leave it at the same depth but move it around in a circular motion. Of course, most commonly, people like to move it back and forth, simulating penetration. Do this the way you feel comfortable. You choose your own pace and depth. Obviously, you will become more exploratory as time goes by but go slowly at first.
Once you orgasm, your butt will probably push it out on its own (putting a towel underneath you wouldn’t go amiss), or you will take it out on your own. Word of advice: don’t do it too quickly, it’ll be too similar to defecating.
Anal Dildo Sex Tips
Now that you know how to use an anal dildo, there are ways to make it interesting even after years of doing it. You can use it as your warmup routine for actual sex, but it can also be your main course of the day. Additionally, you should maybe acquire different-sized dildos that will reflect your mood. Sometimes we want just a quick pop in, other times, we want it to tickle our throats.
Dildos are like hot food; you start off easy, and you want it to be more challenging every time. Try using a vibrating and thrusting dildo for enhanced stimulation. Once you reach the top of the anal dildo mountain, you’ll see an old king sitting on his throne — his name is Double Penetration.